Friday, February 27, 2009

LISTEN

I've been sluggish to blog these last few days......I've been struggling in many different ways and have really been seeking the Lord for peace and strength during my computer time each day so forgive my absence but I've needed to be in the Word, reading His truths, praying, and reminding myself that GOD is bigger than all our struggles and desires.

Last weekend was lots of fun celebrating Jackson's 9th birthday with Joel's parents here. We really enjoyed our time with them and the kids were so surprised to see Mommommy and Poppy at the restaurant when we met them for dinner-- the looks on their faces and their joy in seeing their grandparents was priceless. Another neat memory!

Mommommy, Jackson and Poppy at Tampico's for a pre-birthday, surprise dinner!!

So there are some challenges and things that have been weighing down my spirit these last few days and I'll share a few of them with you here....

On Monday we received some news about WHY we haven't received any news or our medical histories on our 2 referred children. It has been 6 weeks since we got our referral and we initially were told we would get the information in the "next day or two" but apparently there have been some issues to resolve. Of course, the information I was given is confidential and I was asked not to share publicly so I can't go into details..... but it wasn't great news and the issues are not medical as we had assumed. They are hoping to resolve the issues and still move forward with the adoption so the news isn't terrible- just not great for "our" timing. So, I've been struggling with feeling out of control and being patient-- I'm just READY for the official information on our children, our official acceptance of this referral, and then positive movement towards a court date. Purely a worldly desire on my part, as I know in my heart that GOD is in control and that HE has much better plans for me than I could ever imagine (Jeremiah 29:11). I definitely know that God being in control is the better option-- I'm just struggling with waiting on God's timing! That seems so silly to write down- "I'm having a hard time waiting on God" but in utter honesty-- it's how I really feel. UUUUGHHHH--- the battle!!

I also have several dear friends in my life that are struggling in their marriages. My heart is breaking for them and I've been praying constantly for their relationships with their spouses. That He would restore them and give them wisdom, peace and strength in the midst of adversity. My heart hurts for their pain and agony--- their tears have been shared and I am praying for the protection and restoration of theses families. I am adamantly standing behind my sweet friends in REBUKING Satan---proclaiming Jesus as THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. The evil one comes to kill and destroy but these families belong to GOD--- get behind me Satan! God' Truth in Mark 10: 6-9 "But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not seperate." Please pray for my sweet friends that are struggling, they are unnamed by me on this blog but they are known to God. Please pray--- my heart is so heavy for these families.

Over the last few days God has also been laying some scripture on my heart.....It's about the "Transfiguration" in Mark 9:2-12. Until last Sunday-- I can't remember EVER reading this scripture and I've read Mark many times before. This scripture was mentioned in our pastor's sermon on Sunday and I came home and looked it up because I did not recognize the reference he made. On Monday night-- at our Bible study--- again, this passage was referenced and read. On Tuesday, I was listening to my Christian radio station in my kitchen and there it was again-- "The transfiguration" scripture. You're probably not going to believe me but last night, I was reading in my 365 day Bible and the New Testament scripture for Day 56 (February 26) was Mark 9:2-12: The Transfiguration. LORD--- what do I need to learn from these words you keep laying before me? I read the scriptures over and over again. What is God speaking to me through this specific scripture???

During the transfiguration, Jesus took Peter, James and John up to a mountain to pray. There Jesus was transfigured before them in glorious light and white-ness and appeared with Moses and Elijah. The disciples were scared and confused. God spoke to the disciples through a cloud that enveloped them and said, "This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!"

Well- I've been scared and confused lately, too. During this whole adoption process I've questioned my calling to parent two more children. I've questioned God's timing-"Do you really want us to adopt TWO orphans Lord- now??" I've been in my own"cloud" of fear and confusion. We've tried to be obedient in God's calling for us to pursue this adoption and I've seen His GLORY work out situations and open many doors through this process already. BUT-- I've also been impatiently waiting and showing a lack of real trust and faith in HIS plan. I believe God has been speaking to me, again..."Jesus is my Son, whom I love. Listen to HIM." I realize today that my understanding and appreciation for Jesus must go beyond what He can do for me here and now. His eternal Kingdom is so much different than the values of this world. So much better!! I need to truly listen to HIM and follow His example. I need to stop expecting Him to just give me instant relief from my present struggles and challenges but instead trust in His guiding and loving work in my life. My trust and faith in Jesus needs to grow, especially during these rough moments! God is good and keeps loving and growing me every day. Thanks for following our journey- it has been such an emotional and spiritual stretching for me!

We're praying Emma and Joshua get to come home soon!

Ps-- Have I mentioned lately that I just stare at their pictures and smile....they are both soooo adorable!

Hope your weekend is blessed-
Amy

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