How many days is forever?

It's been a few tough days for our little man Joshua. We spent about an hour at bedtime last night listening to him tell us stories of Ethiopia and Tigist and the orphanage, he asked lots of questions and we answered lots of questions. We spent lots of this time speaking TRUTH to him as his fantasies about Tigist and Ethiopia have become much more elaborate over time. There were also many "WHY" questions that we just can't answer. At one point last night, I was trying to explain to him that he was going to live with Mommy and Daddy in America and be in our family forever. I knew he didn't really understand when he asked, "How many days is forever?"

Forever is a very hard concept to explain to a 4 year old child that has not had a life experience of stability and who is also just learning English! We finally said goodnight to him and really did feel like we had made some progress explaining things to him but we recognize that we still have a long way to go before he understands PERMANENCE. Today was even more evidence of that!

Joshua had an appointment to see the doctor. Going to any type of health clinic is one thing that just sends him into anxiety mode. I'm really not sure why, but I believe that he must be scared that after he goes to the doctor, we are going to leave him. He cried and begged to not go. I spent lots of time loving on him and explaining that we were going to see the doctor, we were NOT going to get any shots, and then we were going to come right home! He was still terrified. He cried lots. This has happened almost every time I have taken him to a clinic. Of course, I tried to re-assure him that it was all going to be okay but he is just so scared! I feel so bad for him and my heart hurts knowing that he still isn't sure that he's really going to stay here. FOREVER.

We made it home from the doctor after stopping for a little soda treat for both of us, and all was well.....for about an hour. Then there was a very small, very minor sibling issue over a toy that mushroomed into a full blown meltdown for Joshua. The meltdown was absolutely not about the toy. It was just too much emotional turmoil for him to handle without letting it all out! Did I say that it is super hard to see him hurt like that?!? I sat in the recliner with him for about an hour and a half, just exactly where we have sat through many meltdowns before, and I just held him tight as he cried and cried. After awhile I began to sing that little song to him from my all time favorite children's book....
I love you forever,
I like you for always,
as long as I'm living,
my baby you'll be.

He's such a sweetheart and such a blessing. We made it through the rest of the afternoon without any more tears but we are both just exhausted! Thankfully, he fell asleep very early tonight and I'm on my way now!!

Please pray for Joshua Nahome if you think of it. I am specifically praying that God will just just heal and replace all of his insecurities, pain, fear, and anxiety and fill his heart and mind with love and a peace that passes all understanding!

Blessings,
AMY

Driving from the back seat......

Some might say that today was just another day in the Newsom house...... it was a day full of GREAT moments and also many NOT-so-great moments. I'm praising God that I'm FORGIVEN AND LOVED and that He extends GRACE to me when I don't deserve it, like today. Today really was pretty normal and honestly, I'll admit to you that all day I've felt weighted down with a heavy heart. I've been struggling with being overwhelmed with decisions, to-do lists, needs, chores, children, responsibilities, committments, etc. etc. The reason I share this with you is because tonight, during my quiet time with the Lord, my burden was lightened and I realized that my "NORMAL" overwhelmed feelings, were "NORMAL" because I have NOT been handing over the steering wheel completely to God. I keep reaching over to make sure that all things remain in control!! I'm a great back seat driver when I really need to just let the Lord take the wheel and I need to be a willing passenger--- not a back seat driver! :)

The Lord has placed so many burdens on my heart recently......for people He has placed in my life here in El Paso, for orphans that have touched my heart, for family trials both near and far, for our military families that are REALLY struggling to keep it together while being apart,for my children as they grow up in this fallen world and struggle to sort it all out, for my neighbors that are sick, for the people of Haiti and really, all third world countries, for the upcoming medical mission to Ethiopia, Etc. Etc. Etc. The list goes on and on.

MY list just keeps growing and all day my heart has just been hurting for all of these hurting people. I was so overwhelmed! I am so thankful that the Lord has REALLY opened my eyes, ears, and heart with compassion but, REALLY. Really, Lord?!? What can I possibly do? There is only one of me. There are 5 children in my home....I'm already so outnumbered! There are many friends that need time and a listening ear, but I only have 2 ears!! There are 147 million orphans out there.....but I am only one person. There are millions of earthquake victims....again, I am just one person. There are LOTS of hurting military families that have sacraficed so much......I have only me to offer. What can I do Lord? I am just me. I am not capable, or even able to handle all these things on my plate right now.

I've been mulling over this overwhelming list of concerns on my heart all day long now and I've been praying about WHAT God would have me to do about all these needs, burdens, concerns, heartaches, hurts, pain that the people in my world and in my life are suffering through, the things that I never get done, etc. etc.......

Then HE gently reminded me in my quiet time, that HE IS GOD.... and I am just me. HE IS IN CHARGE; I am just a servant. HE WILL PROVIDE; I just ask. HE WON'T GIVE ME A LOAD BIGGER THAN I CAN BEAR; I just need to be a willing vessel. HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH; and I only need just enough every day. HE WILL DRIVE THE CAR; I'm just a passenger. GOD is GOD.

Acts 17:25 "Human hands can't serve His needs, for He has no neeeds. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and He satisfies every need there is."

Galations 6:9 "Don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time."

Matthew 11:28-29 "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle and you will find rest for your souls."

My heart was so refreshed after I read these scriptures and poured my heart out to God. I am so thankful that He reminded me that I don't have to do it all myself, in my own strength. I don't have to do it, I only have to give God ALL of these issues that burden my heart.......I can give them all to my loving, gracious and kind GOD and HE WILL MAKE MY BURDEN LIGHT! HE WILL DO THE DRIVING!! The King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega, the PROVIDER, HEALER, and MAKER OF ALL THINGS......God is sovereign!!! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!! He will take care of it all and He drives really well without any help from me in the back seat!!!

I pray that your yoke is not heavy today and thay you can unload all your burdens today and REST your soul! It feels really good to REST in the Lord and He is a much better driver than I am, anyway!

Many Blessings for you and yours,
AMY

My first attempt at a Memorial Box Monday

I have a sweet bloggy friend named Linny that I keep up with(I would say that I stalk her blog, but her post today was about a real life stalker so I won't say that I stalk her blog- but, um.... I do check up on her frequently :) ) Anyway, Anyway- I really do admire Linny's passion for serving the Lord, lovin' on her BIG family, and keeping life in perspective! So in Linny's blog (you can check out her blog at www.APLACECALLEDSIMPLICITY.blogspot.com), she and her family celebrate what she calls Memorial Box Mondays. I've read her Monday posts for a long time and have LOVED the idea of a Memorial Box, but I honestly just haven't figured out how to do this type of thing in my life. I think I've even shared this with a few of my close friends.....I want to do this in our family......but I have so many questions......How big would my "box" need to be? Where exactly do you get a "memorial box"? How do you find the appropriate little trinkets to signify the GREAT BIG things God has done in your life? etc. etc. etc.

So-- I still don't have all the answers to my Memorial Box Monday questions but I've been praying about this, have been inspired by Linny to try it, and I am going to attempt today to START a little "Memorial Box Monday" posting of my own and hopefully by next week, I'll have found a memorial box and will use this creative idea to help our family have tangible ways to remember the goodness of the Lord in our lives.

I'm going to start with an Ethiopia story because I never really shared with you about the many BIG God things that happened while we were there. I just never could sort through my emotions enough to capture the whole week in a blog post or even in 20 blog posts! It was just so BIG for me! But-- maybe if I focus on just a small part.......maybe I can do this and share our testimony of the Lord's goodness with you while we were in Ethiopia!

Here's the story of our first two hours in Ethiopia........


There we were, finally in Ethiopia- all 5 of us. We had gone through customs and we were greeted at the airport terminal by an older gentlemen, an employee of our agency at that time, that we'll call Dr. A. When we met Dr. A, I immediately sensed that this gentleman did not have a genuine heart and I still don't know if he is a born again Christian. I sensed that this man was self-seeking. I had a moment of panic and sheer FEAR erupt inside of me when Dr. A abruptly and matter-of-factly told us that Madilyn and Robbie would be riding in the "taxi" with the luggage and that Joel, Jackson, and I would ride in his personal car to the guesthouse. Our arrival was at 10pm so it was not only dark, but this was also a foreign country for us, we didn't speak the language and I did not feel comfortable with this car arrangement. After a few minutes of loading all of the luggage (we had tons of donations!!) I finally gathered up enough courage to tell Dr. A that we appreciated his willingness to transport us to the guesthouse but that Joel and Jackson would go with the taxi and Robbie, Madilyn and I would ride with him. I knew he was a BFAS employee and that he would get us where we needed to go, but I was not so sure about sending my mother in law and daughter in a taxi with an unknown driver, in the dark, in an unknown city. I could tell that he was frustrated that I was questioning his decision and he mumbled some things in Amharic as we loaded up (my way) and headed for the guesthouse. This was the beginning of our trip, the first hour in country and it was an adventure!


There are not many "PAVED" streets in Addis Ababa, and no street signs or house numbers. The main highways and some streets are paved, but when you are driving in the neighborhoods- you are mostly on dirt roads with no navigational clues. We also travelled during the "rainy season" to Ethiopia- so the roads were very muddy. It was DARK. It became very evident that Dr. A was lost. The taxi stopped way behind us and the driver started walking up and down the mud roads yelling at the gate guards in Amharic asking for directions to our guest house. No electricity. No street lamps, or signs. The streets were just dark black and FEAR started to creep up into my soul, again. I was really scared now. There were 3 or 4 house guards that came out of their courtyards, into the muddy street, walking around our car and loudly discussing the route we should have taken in Amharic (at least that is what I think they were talking about!) I didn't understand why we were stopped in the middle of the muddy road and I really couldn't understand what they were saying! Robbie had a doubtful and concerned look on her face also and Madilyn began to cry. Then it happened, I felt a surge of relief as the Lord gave me FREEDOM from that fear of being lost on a dark muddy road in a foreign land! I remembered that I had brought a flashlight or TWO in my carry on bag and they were right under my feet in the front pocket! Thank you Lord! As soon as we turned on those flashlights and the darkness was changed to LIGHT, there was calm and safety in that car and in our hearts. We might have gotten to our destination even if I had not remembered that I had the flashlights in my bag, but the LIGHT did calm our fear and comfort our hearts!

God's word says it so clearly.......Psalms 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." and John 8:12 "Jesus once again addressed them: "I am the world's Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in."

We made it to the guesthouse safely (the taxi did also!) and we were served an amazing dinner of lasagna, bread, and fruit by our sweet new friends and agency employees, Beti and Italgu. We only had electricity 3 of the 10 nights we were in Ethiopia but we used those flashlights every single night that we were there at some point or another and they did light our paths and help us to not stumble around in the darkness! We were very thankful for those small flashlights and lamps that we had brought with us!



When I find the perfect Memorial Box.....I am going to put a little flashlight in it to remind me that God did light our path that first night in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and during our whole trip there. I also want to remember that as Christians, our ultimate goal is this.....

2 Corinthians 4:5 "Remember, our Message is not about ourselves; we're proclaiming Jesus Christ, the Master. All we are is messengers, errand runners from Jesus for you. It started when God said, "Light up the darkness!" and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful."

Many blessings to you,
AMY

A Bloggy Apology and Prayer Request......

So I've been pretty distant here in BloggyLand and I want to apologize to you, my sweet Bloggy friends.......but, I also want to ask for some prayers!

I've been pretty silent here, mainly because I've been overwhelmed. Not overwhelmed in a bad way---but instead, overwhelmed in a GOOD way. I honestly don't know where to start to catch you up on the crazy life of Team Newsom. God has been opening some amazing doors. He has been teaching me many Truths' over the last few weeks and He has answered many prayers. God has also given me some unbelievable opportunities to share our adoption testimony with new friends, and He is coordinating a medical mission trip to Ethiopia for this fall!! Wow!......and that's only a tiny bit of information that is swirling around in my head! God is really at work here and I know it but I haven't really known WHAT TO DO NEXT. So, I've been really quiet around here. I've been praying lots and I've been waiting for God's wisdom and guidance. Will you pray with me for wisdom and guidance as we strive to seek HIS will for our lives??

I do want to quickly share with you just a few of the unbelievable opportunities God has given me over the last few weeks-- I have been ASKED to visit/share our adoption testimony with 6 different ladies at 6 different times over the last 2 weeks. Isn't that too cool??? God loves the poor and the afflicted. He LOVES the orphan. His word tells us to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. I am just amazed that He has planted so many seeds in the hearts of people I've recently met and I want to be obedient, even in this......so, YES- I WILL SPEAK UP FOR THE ORPHANS GOD LOVES!!

God has also given us an opportunity to serve Him in helping to coordinate and plan an upcoming Medical Mission Trip to Ethiopia in October 2010. Agitu, BFAS Staff, Fruitful Harvest Ministries, and many BFAS families are coming together to minister and show Christ's Love to the people of Ethiopia!! WOW! This is getting so much bigger that I ever dreamed or imagined and somehow--- God has placed me in this network of Christian servants as a coordinator of people and resources. I am so humbled and again, even though I feel UN-worthy and very UN-equipped; I am choosing to be obedient and I know that in my own strength I have absolutely nothing to offer, but then again.....there is that TRUTH in God's Word: "WITH CHRIST, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!"

Please pray that Joel and I will have direction, wisdom and guidance from the Lord over these opportunities to serve Him and also in those other areas of our lives that I haven't shared here with you because of the time constraint! I am really going to try to break out of my overwhelmed state of silence and be more faithful in sharing my thoughts, prayer requests and testimonies of God's goodness with you here in BloggyLand on a more regular basis. More than anything, I recognize the need for your support and especially your prayers, as we travel along this amazing journey!

Blessings abound,
AMY

This is YOUR house.

I'm speechless, exhausted, and overwhelmed but I'm also very joyful, so content, and super happy. Most of the books I read pre-adoption were right on with issues involved in adopting older children but I think I was really in denial at that point, that "WE" might face some of those issues. :) Most of them also didn't even talk about the the sheer joy that comes from GIVING an orphan a home, even through all those "adoption issues!" I have been so humbled by this journey and am still learning so much! Every day brings something new with Joshua Nahome. He is doing really well! Singing, dancing, clapping, jumping, smiling, laughing--- these actions fill his days with us. But then there are those....."MOMENTS" that aren't as easy to handle, like today......

Joshua and I were in the kitchen and I was sweeping the floor, he was helping by holding the dustpan for me. He said, "Mommy your house is clean, so nice." I said, "Thank you for helping me sweep Joshua. Yes, our house is very clean now."

He then said, "This is your house. My house is with Tigist."

I stopped sweeping and prayed a quick prayer for wisdom here at this "MOMENT".......

I got down on my knees and the Lord gave me the words, "Joshua Nahome, this is YOUR house, too. You do NOT have a house with Tigist. Tigist loves you but Tigist does NOT have food and Tigist does NOT have a house for you. Tigist wants you to live in America with Mommy and Daddy in YOUR house here. This is YOUR house. Tigist does NOT have a house for you. This is your house. Okay? Do you understand?"

Joshua Nahome looks into my eyes and says, "Yes, Ma'am. This is my house. Can I have some cake?"

Then it was back to life as normal and cake was served! WOW. Talk about some pressure for me!!! Whew! The "moments" just come and then just as quickly, they are gone. There is no major emotional breakdown, no tears, no crying, no screaming--- Joshua will just make these random statements that open an opportunity for me to SPEAK TRUTH into his heart and mind so that he understands and doesn't fantasize. I pray that he does come to understand the WHY without needless heartache and pain but just by openness about his past and Tigist. My hope is that one day he'll be able to say....."My birthmother was destitute and could not feed me, I lived in an orphanage for many many months until GOD gave me a forever family to love and grow up in."

I am also praying that the Lord helps us to grow our love deeper and have more compassion for Joshua, but also be able to see the need and ability to speak TRUTH, in love, to this sweet little boy in spite of the painful circumstances of his life as an orphan. These are hard conversations to have without having some reaction time-- I have to pray hard and think fast! God has provided each and every time I've been faced with these moments that I'm not mentally prepared to handle and he's given me grace, humility, and has helped me to speak TRUTH even when it is hard.

Ephesians 4:11-16 It was He who gave gifts to people; He appointed some to be apostles, others to be prophets, others to be evangelists, others to be pastors and teachers.12 He did this to prepare all God's people for the work of Christian service, in order to build up the body of Christ.13 And so we shall all come together to that oneness in our faith and in our knowledge of the Son of God; we shall become mature people, reaching to the very height of Christ's full stature.14 Then we shall no longer be children, carried by the waves and blown about by every shifting wind of the teaching of deceitful people, who lead others into error by the tricks they invent.15 Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head.16 (C)Under his control all the different parts of the body fit together, and the whole body is held together by every joint with which it is provided. So when each separate part works as it should, the whole body grows and builds itself up through love.

Proverbs 24:3 "Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

Blessings to you and yours,
AMY

Merry Christmas!

I've been meaning to sit down and blog..... but of course,that hasn't happened in a long time and I now know that those were really very high expectations on myself during the holidays! We started December in El Paso with tons of scheduled events, Army functions, Army fundraisers, a great Christmas play for the kiddos and Joel at our church, some personal support efforts to the missionaries and children in orphanages in Juarez, some dinner parties with new arriving co-workers for Joel, a few Army Christmas parties, and then just throw in the normal stuff like schooling, being an available mommy, cooking, cleaning, errands and shopping and wow--- the time has just FLOWN! The calendar was full and that was just the first half of the month!! HAHA! We drove 12 hours "home" for the Christmas holidays on December 15 and have been nearly as busy here as we were in El Paso!! Agitu, our agency director travelled to visit us again on December 16-18 and met with Fruitful Harvest Ministries to coordinate the medical mission trip that God is orchestrating for October of 2010. Amazing! We are praying BIG for Ethiopia and God is at work! It's been so humbling to watch the Lord use our act of obedience to adopt one child and stand back to see Him work out the details to really impact MANY Ethiopian children through this upcoming medical mission trip!! I am AMAZED at the power of Christ, at the big and small details that He has worked out- and I can honestly say that I so excited to celebrate HIS birth every Christmas because He is so alive and real in our lives!! I love Christmas and I love my Savior and I love what He is doing in our lives!!

Joel and I also celebrated 13 wonderful years of marriage on December 21! We were able to sneak away for an overnight date in downtown Ft. Worth at the new Omni hotel! (Thanks for helping with the kiddos everyone!:) Wow! It was a beautiful hotel and we had a really fun time with our special friends, Joel and Dawn Coleman!! Now, I'm sure the hotel receptionist probably secretly laughed at my husband when he told her it was our anniversary and then in the same breath asked, "What channel is the Cowboy game going to be on tonight?" HAHA!! She did send us a complementary bottle of champagne to our room (maybe she felt sorry for me!!! HAHA!!)and then personally called to let us know that the Dallas Cowboys would be showing on channel 12 in our room!! HAHA! Most of you will think we are crazy but we really did plan it that way! :) It wasn't the most "romantic" anniversary evenings we've ever had but we really did have a GREAT time being together and that whole hotel receptionist scenario did make our date night very funny! Our time together was wonderful and I am super thankful for my sweet husband and best friend!) I love you Joel and I also love watching football with you! ;) Happy Anniversary!

Christmas has been super fun this year with all the kiddos and especially since it was Joshua Nahome's FIRST Christmas with us! He has been super excited! He initially had lots of questions but has really enjoyed all of the "birthday parties for Jesus" that we've been to so far!! :) His favorite gift this morning was the package of gum and the rocket balloons in his stocking. He was excited about all the gifts but after he opened them, he promptly packed them back up and wanted to put them away so they didn't get lost or somebody else didn't take them. I think this tendency is probably a post-orphanage -- or-- a post-living-in-a-third-world-country issue but nonetheless, we worked through it and explained that he could keep the toys, play with them, and no one would take them from him. :) Sweet sweet boy. It has been a really neat time, to be able to say to Joshua--- "This is YOURS now. This wasn't how your life was before but now you live in a good, safe place and we love you and this is just a gift for YOU!" :)

Isn't that just what God did for us? He gave us a new life, He gave us the gift of His son, Jesus, and this is the safest and best place I could be and he did it all just because He loves me! God is so good to just keep teaching me every single day of His love,His grace, His mercy, His patience, His plan for me through the adoption of Joshua. I'm super blessed and I hope that your Christmas has been wonderful also.

(Robbie, I love what you shared with me about the power of Christ being BEYOND BEYOND what we can even imagine or think and today, I am convinced that I am.....

Blessed BEYOND BEYOND-
Amy :)

ICE BUBBLES in El Paso

We've had snow TWICE this past week and yes, we do live in El Paso TX!! It's been a ton of fun for the kids and a really nice reason to "slow down" some over the past few days! Joshua Nahome had never seen snow before and he loved it! He called it "ICE BUBBLES" when he first saw it and only today has begun to call it "snow". I had lots of extra laundry to do after they played in the snow but watching them have so much fun was worth the extra loads!!


We are doing pretty well. Everyone is healthy and happy. Homeschooling is going well but I am really looking forward to the Christmas break soon (kids are too)! I can't believe it's already December!! The time has flown by!! I've had a few pretty rough "mommy days" over the past few weeks. Even though I LOVE my job and the eternal benefits are out-of-this-world; I don't ever "clock out" from my duties, I do get tired, cranky with the kiddos, and I need more breaks than I take for myself. This week I've praying for an extra measure of grace, love, mercy and patience! I really hate it when I become a fussy mommy!! My cup overflows right now with both blessings and many responsibilities! If you happen to think about me during your prayer time and your day, please pray for me!

Nahome is doing well. His language acquisition has really amazed us. We think he understands about 99% of all that we say. He speaks about 85% of all that he wants to say correctly! He has started stuttering a little here and there over the last few weeks but we're going for an appointment to get a consult for speech therapy next week. I think he's thinking so fast that his mouth doesn't produce the right English words quickly enough to keep up with his brain yet!! :) It's not a bad speech problem but we want to make sure we help him as much as we can, early on. Emotionally, he is doing very well- he still has some hard moments but he handles them in a very healthy way (lots of tears and crying!) so I'm thankful that he's not bottling up those emotions! He and Joel Daniel still compete for toys, fuss over turns, and they always want the exact same things but in the same day they also play well together and they are best buddies! They will play at an activity for hours without having any issues at all. The fussy moments just come and go!! :) I am thankful for the good and bad! Joshua Nahome is really doing well, he is a blessing to our family, and we would do it all again! God has taught us so much and is teaching us more and more every day!!



Here are a few photos of our kids playing in the ice bubbles...... Hope you enjoy!



Blessings,
AMY

Psalms 32:2 " You are my hiding place; you shall preserve me from trouble; you shall compass me about with songs of deliverance."

Psalm 71:5 For You are my hope, O Lord God; you are my trust from my youth."