Lessons

So this week was full of lessons for me. I wish I had taken the time to stop and write about each one as they happened but I didn't, and now I'm pretty overwhelmed at the thought of typing about these moments because they've all been so profound. God's goodness has been evident to me all week, even though we've faced many challenges and bumps along the path. I'll share two of the most striking issues we've faced this week and what God has shown me through them.

Lesson #1...... I need to be thankful, even for the things I may not think I want or want to be thankful for.

This week "Uncle Sam" sent us an email informing us that our next Army assignment was going to be changed. We were assigned to move to Ft. Bliss in November and while I haven't been particularly EXCITED about moving to El Paso TX, we were OK with it. I groaned and whined under my breath (El Paso is not a garden spot) but it was ok. The job was going to be good for Joel and the dwell time was going to be approximately 12-18 months so that was ideal for us since we are pursuing the adoption at this point. Well, the NEW assignment was going to be with a unit deploying in May/June and my dear hubby would be immediately deployed for 12 months after graduating from this course. Reminder--- we are in the MIDDLE of adopting siblings from Ethiopia and we will probably travel in May/June. So-- the prospect of travelling to a foreign country alone, bringing home 2 scared and confused kids (along with a language barrier)while next moving to another state, and a starting a one year deployment........well, short story- these ideas sent me into panic mode. Those are many life changing events all in a very short period of time!! We began praying for wisdom for Joel when he spoke with "Uncle Sam" and we also prayed for God's will to be done in this situation and that He would have us go where we needed to be to accomplish His will in our lives. After 3 long days of waiting.....we got the reply email back last night and "Uncle Sam" is going to let us move to Ft. Bliss as planned since we are in the middle of our adoption. They even wished us well with the adoption process. OH, THANK YOU LORD!!! I am now REALLY thankful and REALLY excited about moving to EL PASO. I know it's NOT a garden spot, but I know it is where God wants us and that's exactly where I want to be! Looking back over these last few days of uncertainty, and the hard questions that have come up......I can honestly say that it has been amazing to see God at work on our behalf. To realize that He restored HIS plan for us, despite the "needs of the Army". I am comforted that He knows the needs of our family at this very moment, and he protected HIS plan for us!! Isn't that cool???


Lesson #2.... Compassion. Yesterday, we got an email about our adoption. We did NOT get our medical reports yet, but we did find out WHY we haven't gotten them. Apparently, when our children were examined last week by the agency pediatrician, the DR found that our little boy has "deformed legs". They are waiting for the x-rays reports to be gotten back and added to the medical files. This was a jaw-dropping moment for me. WHAT??? A LEG DEFORMITY?? What does that mean? Can he walk? Will he be able to walk/run/play with other children? Will he require a wheelchair for the rest of his life? Oh my goodness.....what does this mean for our adoption? Will we still accept this referral???

I immediately began looking closely at the photos that were sent to me of the children.....According to the photos, this little guy has 2 formed legs, 2 formed feet, and 10 toes. His legs look normal. He is sitting correctly with the exception that one foot is turned slightly inwards! OHHHHH--- maybe he's just pigeon toed. Or bow legged. Maybe it's a correctable problem with medical treatment. But what if it's worse? Can I handle a major orthopedic issue in my life right now? Are these the siblings for us???? What are we going to do now???

I began to pray for his sweet legs- for healing. I began praying for clarity in the medical reports so that I could understand the extent of the problem when we get this information and I started to pray for our correct response to this news when the Lord stopped my rambling and spoke to me. These were the words God spoke to me...."THIS BOY IS MADE IN MY IMAGE. He may be lame or deformed by your standards, but what gives you the right to determine his value or worth to me, based on your idea of physical perfection? I desire compassion from you and mercy. Love as I first loved you. Remember my words, Whatever you do to the least of these, you do also to me."

WHOA.

I was so wrong. I am ashamed to admit to you, but I had started making judgements on this poor child's ability to be a part of our family based on his physical imperfection, before I even realized what I was thinking. I had to ask for God's forgiveness. At that very moment, God showed me that while I might not have a physical deformity, I am worldly, sinful, and have a very lame heart. I need to have the compassion of Christ for others, namely--for this little boy. I needed to recognize that at this very moment, I am a part of the plan of GOD! God may have planned for THIS to be the child that is plucked out of that orphanage because he has a need greater than the others. He and his sister! We can provide medical care and treatment for a leg problem! God showed me that my compassion needs to grow. After praying and discussing our little boys' medical needs, this is the email note we sent back regarding his leg deformity.....
"Thank you Agitu for the update on the medical reports. We appreciate that your pediatrician did a thorough exam and will be praying that the X-ray report gets to you quickly. We have been/are praying for these two children and have faith that this sweet boy’s “leg deformity” is one that we can help him to overcome with good medical care here in the US. We really look forward to finding out more about these children and we still anticipate moving forward with their adoption despite this little boys’ possible medical issue." 

My desire is to be honest here and share both my joys and my struggles. My pride makes it difficult to journal about my shortcomings but my prayer is that God will use my testimony to bring Him glory and honor. He carries me when I am weak. He forgives me when I mess up. He is compassionate and kind, even with me! He loves me even though I don't deserve it.

Please pray for Joshua and Emma. Please pray for our family. Please pray for me. These are only 2 of the pretty emotional events that have caused me stress this week-there have been many others that I won't mention because of time. I feel that we are under attack at this very moment and satan is trying so hard to shake our Faith in Christ, and undermine the Work of Christ in our family. Pray that we are strengthened and steadfast in fulfilling God's plan!

Many Blessings---
Amy