Tuesday, January 5, 2010

This is YOUR house.


I'm speechless, exhausted, and overwhelmed but I'm also very joyful, so content, and super happy. Most of the books I read pre-adoption were right on with issues involved in adopting older children but I think I was really in denial at that point, that "WE" might face some of those issues. :) Most of them also didn't even talk about the the sheer joy that comes from GIVING an orphan a home, even through all those "adoption issues!" I have been so humbled by this journey and am still learning so much! Every day brings something new with Joshua Nahome. He is doing really well! Singing, dancing, clapping, jumping, smiling, laughing--- these actions fill his days with us. But then there are those....."MOMENTS" that aren't as easy to handle, like today......

Joshua and I were in the kitchen and I was sweeping the floor, he was helping by holding the dustpan for me. He said, "Mommy your house is clean, so nice." I said, "Thank you for helping me sweep Joshua. Yes, our house is very clean now."

He then said, "This is your house. My house is with Tigist."

I stopped sweeping and prayed a quick prayer for wisdom here at this "MOMENT".......

I got down on my knees and the Lord gave me the words, "Joshua Nahome, this is YOUR house, too. You do NOT have a house with Tigist. Tigist loves you but Tigist does NOT have food and Tigist does NOT have a house for you. Tigist wants you to live in America with Mommy and Daddy in YOUR house here. This is YOUR house. Tigist does NOT have a house for you. This is your house. Okay? Do you understand?"

Joshua Nahome looks into my eyes and says, "Yes, Ma'am. This is my house. Can I have some cake?"

Then it was back to life as normal and cake was served! WOW. Talk about some pressure for me!!! Whew! The "moments" just come and then just as quickly, they are gone. There is no major emotional breakdown, no tears, no crying, no screaming--- Joshua will just make these random statements that open an opportunity for me to SPEAK TRUTH into his heart and mind so that he understands and doesn't fantasize. I pray that he does come to understand the WHY without needless heartache and pain but just by openness about his past and Tigist. My hope is that one day he'll be able to say....."My birthmother was destitute and could not feed me, I lived in an orphanage for many many months until GOD gave me a forever family to love and grow up in."

I am also praying that the Lord helps us to grow our love deeper and have more compassion for Joshua, but also be able to see the need and ability to speak TRUTH, in love, to this sweet little boy in spite of the painful circumstances of his life as an orphan. These are hard conversations to have without having some reaction time-- I have to pray hard and think fast! God has provided each and every time I've been faced with these moments that I'm not mentally prepared to handle and he's given me grace, humility, and has helped me to speak TRUTH even when it is hard.

Ephesians 4:11-16 It was He who gave gifts to people; He appointed some to be apostles, others to be prophets, others to be evangelists, others to be pastors and teachers.12 He did this to prepare all God's people for the work of Christian service, in order to build up the body of Christ.13 And so we shall all come together to that oneness in our faith and in our knowledge of the Son of God; we shall become mature people, reaching to the very height of Christ's full stature.14 Then we shall no longer be children, carried by the waves and blown about by every shifting wind of the teaching of deceitful people, who lead others into error by the tricks they invent.15 Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head.16 (C)Under his control all the different parts of the body fit together, and the whole body is held together by every joint with which it is provided. So when each separate part works as it should, the whole body grows and builds itself up through love.

Proverbs 24:3 "Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

Blessings to you and yours,
AMY

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Amy,
The truth is so good. Our older adopted ones that remember living with their birth parents also say similar comments (rarely but they do). It does help to let them know that they are loved by the birth family BUT they birth family does not have the means to provide so unselfishly they asked us to. GREAT ANSWERS!
Jen

Mom Of Many said...

I just had to stop by and say "hi". I saw your little tiny picture on the "follower" thingy and saw all your kids in the pic and had to take a peek.

Thank you to you and your hubby and family for your military service. No doubt your family has made many, many sacrifices for our great nation - thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love our military and their families!

Your children are all adorable and I love that Joshua is beginning to start to understand that he is HOME! I think we might celebrate that fact with cake here today too. =) (Isn't a little one being home always a good reason to celebrate?? Yippee Jesus!!)

Blessings from Colorado!
Linny xo