We have been planning a family trip to Ruidoso, NM for quite some time now and this past weekend was finally the weekend to sneak away as a family to a new place to explore, play, rest, and have some fun together. It was really a wonderful weekend. Such a nice, quaint place with tons to see and do. The mountains were beautiful and I am still amazed that it is only 2.5 hours from El Paso yet the scenery and land so very different! It was amazing! It was a refreshing break away from normal life, for most of us.........
I wouldn't say that it was refreshing to Joshua. I think it was confusing and scary for him but in the end, we all came home together and together, we overcame another adoption fear and hopefully he gained a little bit more trust.
He was really well behaved on the trip and he had lots of fun playing in the snow, but there were MANY MANY times that he asked lots of questions about our trip.... "Why are we at the mountains?" "How many days at the mountains?" "Is this a new house?" "Where are we going today?" Then on Saturday afternoon, he followed several of the above questions with the ONE QUESTION that let me know what he was REALLY concerned about........"In two days does Joshua go back to El Paso with Joel and Madilyn and Jackson and Hannah?"
It occurred to me that he must think that we were bringing him there to drop him off with some other family/home/orphanage. Remember our little trip to the doctor last week and the fear, insecurity and drama.....well, a trip to the doctor, followed shortly after by a "weekend getaway" and this little boy was feeling unsettled and he was a box of nerves! Poor little thing! It breaks my heart but also re-affirms my suspicions that he is still really trying to sort things out, trying to understand why he was taken from place to place in his past,and he's trying to figure out what will happen next from here.
REASSURE. BUILD TRUST. SHOW LOVE. These are our goals for now with Joshua. We're going to just keep trying to reassure him that he is here forever and that we love him! He will ALWAYS have a forever home with Joel, Madilyn, Jackson and Hannah, Mommy and Daddy!
The weekend away was really fun, but it was even more GREAT to bring Joshua back home to El Paso and say "WE ARE HOME!" I hate that our little trip grieved his spirit and caused him any anxiety but at the same time, I am also thankful for another opportunity for us to show him that as a member of Team Newsom, we will go places together and we will all come home TOGETHER!
If anyone out there has any tips or ideas on creative ways to explain the concepts of forever, trust, and permanence to a sweet little 4 year old, please leave me a comment and share the wisdom!