My Brain Won't Turn Off

So I've been laying in bed for 1 hour and 36 minutes and I just can't go to sleep. I've tossed and turned and finally decided to get up and do some reading.
Part of the reason I can't settle tonight is that Joel and I had a conversation over dinner about our adoption. We are truly seeking God's will in our family and we want to make sure we are in the center of His plans. The question is, " Should we continue to pursue adopting 2 siblings from Ethiopia or should we adopt 1 child from Ethiopia now, with plans to adopt another child in the future?" We've discussed this before and some of the reasons we are considering this change in child preference is that adopting 1 child at a time is more likely to be quicker in terms of adoption processing. We are due to move this summer and it would really be simpler paperwork-wise to be HOME with our adopted child prior to our move. Another reason is for attachment and bonding time. Adopted children grieve and have experienced major traumatic life changes in their tiny lives......we have learned that many adoption adjustments and transitions are often very hard and challenging at first. One child struggling emotionally vs. two children struggling emotionally at one time is another consideration for us. This will no doubt be tough, especially on me. Not to mention, our bio kids will have some adjusting to do also!!
We feel the Lord has definitely called us to adopt 2 children--- we just aren't sure whether it's 2 at one time or 1 at a time, twice. Is that as clear as mud or what??? :)

So--- I couldn't sleep and I opened my One-Year Bible and started reading today's scripture and this is what the Lord had for me tonight.......

Psalm 121:1-8 " I look up to the mountains-does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever."

Is that an amazing truth or what? Can you believe the timing of me reading that scripture? Our God is all knowing and all powerful. He gives me such comfort in the middle of my worries and I'm humbled that He speaks to ME through His Word. I'm so blessed that He knows my every need. I can relax because HE will watch over me, He never sleeps or slumbers because He is protecting me. He is watching over my life, He is my help, and He will not let me stumble.

Ok--- that's not it, though. I told you God is amazing....listen to what else He had to say to me tonight. The Proverb for today was this:

Proverbs 28: 27-28 "Whoever gives to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to poverty will be cursed. When the wicked take charge, people go into hiding. When the wicked meet disaster, the godly flourish."

I can go to bed now. I can stop worrying. I know the answer. I know that the Lord will show us the children He has chosen for us to raise and teach and love, in His perfect timing. I know that He will provide. If I will just give of myself unselfishly, I will lack nothing. I shared in an earlier post that I struggle with selfish motivations. I just want things in my life to be easy and comfortable. The Lord sees right through my selfish concerns and in this Proverb, He speaks directly to me,again..... that I should not close my eyes to poverty but be willing to be a living sacrafice- and have mercy for these little children.

I am humbled. I know I can't do this alone. I don't have the strength, but I am trusting and I have faith and I believe with all my heart that GOD WILL PROVIDE me with the strength I need when the trials come.

Please pray for us that we'll stand firm in following the calling God has for us, that we'll not waiver, and that we'll be strengthened on the journey.

Since God never slumbers and He's watching out for me.....I'm going to rest tonight.

Goodnight with Blessings,
Amy

BTW....I worked on our Dossier today and we are OH SO CLOSE to being done!!