Hard Answers......

There have been several times over the past few weeks that I've been driving down the road or working in the kitchen preparing dinner when all of the sudden, big tears well up in my eyes and I can only pray for God's grace in sharing love and giving hard answers to difficult questions. Today was another one of those days.

Joshua Nahome is doing very well. His language skills are really amazing me and he is communicating well. He has been home nearly 4 months now. He is actually communicating so well now that he has many questions for me and he's caught me un-prepared to answer many of them, but somehow, thankfully, the Lord PROVIDES and out of my mouth comes words that have been kind and were able to soothe and love a confused little boy.

Nahome asked me today, "Is Tigist coming?"

What a hard moment for me to truthfully tell this little boy, "No, Tigist is not coming." I'm so thankful that I was also able to say... "Tigist is in Ethiopia and she loves you very much and wants you to be happy and live in America." Thank you Lord for giving me eyes to see and understand WHY you had us adopt Nahome while we were in Ethiopia. I did and could not understand before I saw it for myself, now I've seen and I know WHY and I also know Tigist LOVED Nahome very much.

These were hard moments. I realize that it is normal for all adoptive children to dream of their birthparents coming for them, looking for them, searching for them.....but I didn't think it would happen this early. I thought those were teenage adoptive issues, not 4year old issues! I didn't realize that he has been waiting for her to come here. I had to tell him the truth because I don't want him to have false hopes or be more confused by vague answers so I felt that even though the truth hurts--- we have to tell him the truth about these questions.....Tigist is not coming. I wish she could, but she is not.

The harder conversation for me was this one......

Nahome then said, "No food Tigist have. Nahome hungry Tigist. No cereal, no pizza, no water, no candy. Nahome hungry Tigist Ethiopia. Nahome no hungry Mommy.
Why Tigist no food, no stores Ethiopia? Why Mommy food, store?"

I really wish I could change those facts in his life. I'm so sad that they endured so much pain. I am so thankful that this little boy has enough to eat now in our home, but it burdens me that he and his birthmother were HUNGRY enough for this little boy to remember that and tell me.

I'm really thankful that we adopted an older child. Questions like the ones above are difficult to answer without being moved to tears, but what a blessing it is to know the WHY behind his adoption and be able to share Tigist's love for him. It is very neat that he remembers and I am thankful. I also love to listen to him tell stories about his memories of Ethiopia! He tells very animated stories of wild dogs in Ethiopia, the cat that killed their only chicken, the stinky outdoor bathroom with bugs, his bed on the dirt ground, his food cooked with fire, his rest time at night, the foods he ate there. Last week, he even pulled an old blanket out of Mama Carr's closet and said that the blanket smelled like Tigist. I am thankful for these memories and I am praying that the Lord continues to give me love, grace, and mercy when Nahome asks me questions that are hard. I pray that I'll be able to tell him about the unconditional, sacrificial love that his sweet birthmother, Tigist, has for him and that he'll somehow, someday....

he will also understand.

Thankful for the blessings and the hard questions and hard answers, too-
AMY

Jeremiah 20:13 " Sing unto the Lord, praise the Lord: for He has delivered the soul of the poor from the hand of evildoers."

Psalm 132:15 " I will abundantly bless her provision: I will satisfy her poor with bread."

Psalm 37:3-5 "Trust in the Lord, and do good; so that you should dwell in the land, and verily you shall be fed. Delight yourself in the Lord; and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways unto the Lord; trust in Him and He shall bring it to pass."

Amos 5:4 "For this says the Lord to the house of Israel, Seek me, and you shall live."